Month: March 2014

Thanks for the Demon, Grandma

When I was a kid my very Catholic grandmother told me she had a Demon in her house. He walked up and down the stairs at night, gave her terrible violent nightmares and broke the neck of her cat.

Of course now I was terrified to go walk those creaky narrow stairs, the same ones the Demon walked, up to the bedroom where I was to sleep at night. Alone.

I would put up a big fuss about sleeping in that room alone. My grandmother told me not to worry, that the statue of Mary would protect me. Also to sleep with a bible under my pillow and pray, and I would be alright.

It must have worked, mostly, because I did not levitate off the bed, the cross on the wall did not swing upside down, and I didn’t have bouts where I was speaking only in Latin.

But I did dream about that damn statue. Mary would come to life, that snake curling around her feet, and speak to me. I never could make out what she said. Finally when she was done she would shake, fall to the floor and shatter.

To this day, religious symbols and statues hold some sick twisted fascination with me, although I won’t allow any in my house. They freak me the fuck out, and I’m done with having conversations with Mary.

From the Devil’s Diary – part two

Sure I’ve done some bad things, but I do not consider myself evil. I am like any other child that expected and deserved unconditional love from his father and was denied it.

So yeah, I’ve acted out a little. Well Ok, maybe a lot. But does that necessarily make me evil?”

From the Devil’s Diary

“Sure there is something to be said about being a monstrous monster. There’s a lot of fun to be had in inciting fear and terror. But it does not really help me accomplish my goals. Work smarter, not harder, I always say. And so that is why I choose the form I do. No, you’re not going to catch me all that often with horns and leathery wings. When you see me you’re going to want to fuk me. You’re going to want to sell your soul just to touch me.  Beauty has been a trap since the beginning of time. The old cliche stands, evil is ugly, good is lovely. So what if it’s often a lie? So what if I capitalize on that? I’m The Devil. I can do whatever the fuk I want.”