Month: March 2015

cruel awakening

The dream

the place where the impossible

was possible

all things were eternal

no beginning

and no end

I knew love

I knew joy

I knew the secrets

of the universe

I never wanted to be awake again

But then a black widow slipped

between my lips

and tickled

the roof of my mouth.


My new truth

I fell

As I always knew I would

and yet there was a part of me

that didn’t believe

For everything I tried to be

it was all lies

I have to pay for my sins

I have to pay for them

with everything I am

Endless darkness

an eternity of nothing

this was my new truth

and then the devil came

bearing gifts.

Perfect little “O”s

She blew smoke rings

They were perfect little “O”s

Really I could use one of those

right about now

But I find myself in this crowd

and all alone

Wanna take me home?

On second thought no

He opened up his mouth

and a wolf came out

We can snarl and growl and we can shout

we can howl at the moon

knowing full well this night

will end too soon

I opened up my mouth

and a lion came out

We can roar and we can scratch and and we can 

light this match

and see what happens next.

She blew perfect little “O”s 

from perfect red lips

and hooked a finger in the rips 

of my jeans and pulled

She opened up her mouth and a snake slid out

and we can hiss and bite and we can strike

when the poison’s right

We can light this match and watch the world

go BOOM!

All the while knowing

This night will end too soon. 

A toast to Armageddon

I see Armageddon 

I see the end

I raise my glass

For all the things I drink to

and will never drink to again

Like joy and sorrow

love and lonliness

I drink to today 

and I drink to no tomorrow

I drink to drinking

I drink to stop drinking

I drink until I stop thinking

I drink to lies

and I drink to the truth

I drink to old age

and I drink to my youth

I drink to life

and I drink to death

I drink because of all these regrets

I drink to my last breath

I drink for innocence 

and I drink to sin

I drink to what is

and what could have been

I drink poison

and I drink the cure

I drink to find courage

and I drink to overcome fear

I drink to running away

I drink to holding your hand

I drink for the kiss of a woman

and the touch of a man

I drink to laughter

and I drink to tears

I drink cause you’re far

And I’d probably drink if you were near

I have two drinks for the past

and three drinks because there’s nothing new

I have a drink for me

and a drink for you.

Now Armageddon is on the horizon

and I think about dying

I drink to the famine 

and I drink to the floods

I drink because the fires

took all the good drugs

I drink because I wonder about me and you

Perhaps I’ll die a drunk day-dreamer

I suppose I’ll drink to that too. 

Where you belong

You deserve the dream

Lie yourself beside your beloved

Let this moment burrow itself

deep within your brain

And no other past hurts

seem to matter

Memories without the emotions

scars without the pain

There is only peace

Two damned souls drunk on wine

Hands entertwined

and serenity within the silence

Is this not what we’ve longed for

all our lives?

You are content

and exactly where you belong.

I’ve wasted another day

He was angry again

I’d forgotten something I was supposed to do

I told you seven times

You should have told me seventy-seven

I may have remembered then

And the dishes are still left in the sink from this morning

Well, I happen to find washing dishes rather boring

But you know what wouldn’t be such a bore?

Smashing them on the tiled floor

(or over your head)

The laundry has been sitting unfolded on the kitchen table for days

You don’t say?!?

I figured eventually your underwear would figure out how to put itself away

Is there anything you accomplished today?

Many things

I took a walk and watched the sun rise

I wrote a poem about how much you suck

and I imagined another man between my thighs 

(this last part I said silently to myself)

I listened to my favorite Grant Lee Buffalo album twice

and I’ve nearly polished off this entire bottle of wine

all by myself

With no help at all

Well, he said, isn’t that just fucking nice

You’ve wasted another day of your life


These disasterous little mistakes

all seem to spill into tomorrow

I keep my poison beside my bed each night

inside a bottle

I’m warning you not to follow

(but I do hope you won’t listen)

Sometimes I feel bored, sometimes I feel hollow

with compliments

on things I have no control over

and cannot possibly keep forever

You like me today

but what about tomorrow?

I’ll be forgotten again

And all these sins 

no longer hold the same appeal

I spent my entire youth chasing pain

And when I caught up with it

I searched for ways not to feel 

No, these sins no longer bring me the same ease

They are slowly killing me

Tomorrow has come and gone

Tomorrow may never come


The big book of dirty sinful orgasms

The preacherman wanted to know about my


He wrote it down in his book

The big book of orgasms

He kept a straight face the entire time

kept his voice neutral

and nodded and wrote

I wondered at that book

all the dirty sinful orgasms it held

I wondered if he took that book home each night

and read it

while having his own private


The One

He didn’t ask,

but told her

she was going to marry him

She told him ok,

but I will never cook

or clean

or ever be loyal to you.

He said he didn’t care

because she was The One.

But she was loyal

and she did cook

and sometimes when the mood hit her just right

she’d even clean.

This is my favorite love story

I never grow tired of hearing it

It makes me smile every time.