Anyone but me

Morning arrives and the sun rises

but I can only see the darkness 

like a gloved hand around my neck

It squeezes the joy right out of me 

I want to be anywhere but here

be anyone but me

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9 comments

  1. I like this a ton–very evocative, and while I never never never like to suggest an edit I’m stuck on the first line, in terms of rhythm, and desperate to encourage you to ponder replacing the “and” with a comma–so it’s like “ba da bum, ba da bum” and connects the “i” sounds in rises and arrives more fluidly. I’m sorry–please tell me to buzz off, or block me, or put a bag of burning dog poop on my porch.

    1. I hope my ego would not be so large as to block someone for suggesting an edit. I always appreciate feedback. But I may take you up on the fiery poop idea, as that is just fun and I have plenty of dog poop in my backyard I’d love to make good use of.

  2. Don’t be concerned about comments that seem to advise you how to write better.I don’t care how you write-I have always sensed a deep belief you have in yourself so you write from the heart.I do not care what others think of you or your writing,I have always considered you beautiful and talented.Keep writing YOUR way.

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