Month: July 2015

Madness

Grief became her world

and then madness snuck in

So she cut lemons for days

with her papercut hands

She’d bang the cupboards

and leave the refrigerator door open

eating everything inside

She said it filled up the 

emptiness

that little boy had left behind

But there was nothing 

to stop the madness.

Advertisements

I dream

Dig in,

bite harder

 these truths cut to the bone

Lies would be prettier

but I can no longer live within these gray walls

Now I know real pain

These are the things I love about you

This is the terror that keeps me up late at night

drinking wine and dancing with myself

The memory of you makes me feel wicked

I tongue these old scars

in the shape of your mouth

I close my eyes

I sway

and I dream

I dream…

Cabernet Kiss

There are rumors I do not believe

although the water is warm this night

I cannot see the bottom

where our flesh may gently brush in the darkness

I warn you my blood runs cold

You say the lies I tell myself will be my undoing

and my lips taste like cabernet

There is this painful thing that expands and contracts

beneath my ripcage

Perhaps I should rip it out, 

but there is no escaping you.

A talent for wasting time

Your eyes were the midnight skies

worlds within worlds

your magnetic sorrow claimed me with fire

and turned my heart to ash

I made a wish within those flames nonetheless

I wished for everlasting life

and beauty so I did not have to be so clever

Now perhaps you will finally  find me interesting to look at

and I will have a moment to feel you tremble

beneath my fingertips

against my bloodied lips

and slip your silver tongue 

In between my thighs

light the blacks of my eyes

But I will forever wander within these shades of gray

The inbetween spaces you will no longer travel

You say it’s all an illusion, well than take it all away

This confusion between want and need

Reality and dreams

It’s my right to change my mind, my rhyme

To be in and out of my head

I have always just been along for the ride

Take the fucking wheel 

So I chewed on my consequences

 I tried to spit and you dared me swallow

Dared me to follow you into the unknown

And I now know, you will never sit still

All your lies are inevitable truths

You will never be silenced

I wished I was a little more brave

A little more clever

A little more interesting to look at

But I never fit in

And I never stood  out

Except to you, and still I disappoint 

As promised.

I sit at my breakfast table and watch all these years pass me by

My love is only a scattering of pretty bruises across the sunset sky

You marvel at my brilliant talent for wasting time

For flitting in and out of my mind

Somewhere in this gray place I’m going to beg you not to leave

But you will never sit still

You will never be silenced

You will reach out your hand and ask me to follow

and I…

Mistake

I will always keep secrets 

I will always bury my darkest thoughts

In the deepest caverns of my heart

You say what a shame, and you pity me

But your slow wink and Cheshire smile says otherwise

You embarrass me with words written when I was just a girl 

Enthralled with your every word 

Now things are not so simple 

Everything has changed,

We haven’t changed at all

You say we were meant to walk this world in parallel perfection 

Although I sway and fall like a drunk, it makes you laugh

Bitterly

I fear that I should give this lost dream up

I fear that will be my biggest mistake.