bi polar

She crashes cars

I poured us each a drink and we flirted with the boys until buttons flew. The next thing I knew we were wrestling in the alligator pond. Your fists were flying and I tried to take your keys. You talked some shit, and I wondered ‘is all of this true?’ 

I grew tired of being kicked and hit and I threw the keys back in your face. “Go drive, kill yourself then, see if I care.” But I was sick to my stomach when I said it. Like I had written your death sentence. Or someone else’s. 

And you did drive, tires squeeling, right into my neighbors car.

“I just got my car out of the shop,” my neighbor complained and called the cops. Those stupid boys ran away 

The cops came and tasered you while they questioned me. “If we search your apartment, what will we find?” 

“Nothing illegal,” I chewed on my lip. 

“People don’t usually act like this just on alcohol.”

No shit. 

You called my name, no you screamed it, and I tried to go to you but the cop pushed me back.”You want to be tasered too?”

“Not particularly.”

They took you away and I stayed up all night, staring at the ceiling, wondering if you were ok.

You called from jail the next morning. “You sure pack a punch girl, I suppose I earned these black eyes. It was about time you got me back.”

“I wish I could take credit, but it was the cops, not me, that beat your ass.”

There were apologies, and “I love yous” and amends to make. You said you’d never drink again, never hit me again, and the things I said you said, you didn’t remember them nor mean them. 

I sighed, “you know this is the begininng of the end?”

And you stayed on the line for some time, and cried.