I found a book of my old poetry when I was cleaning out my closet. Most of my old stuff I’m too embarrassed to share but this one is kind of funny. When I was 18 I got in a really bad car accident. Flipped a car end over end three times down a cliff. I kid you not. I remember looking down and seeing bone and tenon and that parts of me looked like raw hamburger. I must have been in shock because I remember having this debate whether it was necessary to go to the hospital or not. (The person in the car behind me dragged me back up the hill and forced me to go) Then when I got to the hospital I asked the nurse if I would need stitches. (She laughed)
All in all I was pretty lucky, I did need one surgery to repair a tendon, and I still have some problems with parts of my right hand going numb, a few scars on my hand and upper thigh and that’s about it. I was stuck in the hospital for some time though because I had a blood infection that was resistant to antibiotics. Eventually something did work. It was kind of a sucky time in my life because I lost my graphic arts job (which I loved) and wasn’t going to be able to go to graphic arts school (which was being paid for by my job) On top of that my boyfriend sent his cousin (who was and still is a good friend of mine) to the hospital to tell me it was over. He told me with a big shit eating grin it was because I was weird. We were so wrong for each other and we both knew it. But at the time it really sucked.
So this was the poem I wrote for him.
He asks ‘what gets to you girl?’
Nothing, I lie
But you’ll know when you wake up
With scorpions between your sheets
I’d skin that boy in the kitchen skin
And store his penis in the freezer
Everyone has one damn good reason to feel sorry for themselves
Like the time I said I love you
And now I can’t take it back
I’ll twist your screws a little tighter
Make you scream, make you dream
You’re a little lesser than god
A little lower than me
A little blacker than dirt.
And your bones are crushing under my feet
Give me my sponge bath and my shot of morphine
And bring that boy back to me alive.