death

Muddy American Flags

We seek the darkness

thunderstorm funerals

muddy American flags

and trains off their tracks

I loved the picture of you out in the water

the wind made your hair wild

Nothing lasts…

I caught a blue glass-eyed wink

and a toothless grin

through the slow rising twirl of cigarette smoke and green flesh

I could smell the decay on your brain

It was a rainy day

when they put you in the ground.

Everything is open wounds now

and a bland thanksgiving dinner sucked through a straw

We forgot somehow, how to laugh

Could have been the slow drip of morphine

or the simple way our bones cracked.

Death dragged his heavy feet

as real life licked me

like a sandpaper tongue

Reminded me I am just the nameless meat

between the lion’s teeth

and we all die alone.

In black in white she sat

her legs demurely crossed

with her crooked cat eyed glasses

Tell me about your chaos lady,

the bloody slashes across your face

your dead baby sister

at the bottom of the outhouse.

It’s no wonder

in the end we all go mad.

Would it be ok if I took this gloom

and weaved it into some hideous mask?

I will hide behind it for the rest of my days.

 

In Memory of my grandfather

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Immortality 

In seeking oblivion we

Sing the blues 

From the bottom of the well

We should rot

Like fallen leaves

Your ball game death song

Was at the tip of my tongue

I still don’t believe you’re gone

I whisper to the wind

It was all a lie

We should all tear out our throats

As if they were beating hearts

Our children

Should never have to die
Our hearts will always believe 

 In Immortality 

“H”

The reaper awaits

at the fringe of the forest

My soul

stumbles and sways

chaos ensues

I try to snatch the lighting

from his eyes

He is bruised

and butchered

and perfect

I swallow fire

like apocalyptic lemonade

I will never

be the same

I brand an “H”

between his eyes

don’t lose the rage inside

don’t you die

untouched by me

don’t hang your gods

too high

chaos ensues

My soul

stumbles and sways

He is bruised

and butchered

and perfect.

you were not you

You were not you

and I was afraid

I turned away to watch the captive fish float by

Did those long nights of breaking ice

and eating cheap brains

break you?

The cancer had a way of drawing my eye

how it wanted to bleed

But I knew you had found a place to hide

There was something comforting about it

There was something wrong about it all

like feeding pudding to a toothless lion

You were not you

but your watery eyes told a different story

I promise 

I won’t remember you this way

turn into earth

Don’t waste your time

and say goodbye

We are all in need of forgiveness

and five dollar bills of mad money 

a baby is born

an old man dies

There’ll be no more moon rivers

and the wine is but vinegar. 

Standing here in 42 degrees

and I realize

everyone believes in something but me

All I know is we all turn into earth

eventually. 

Faith (in the end) 

In the end

we’ll lie beneath a cold black sun

my heart will ache for silver moonlight

and the sound of your laughter

I’ll tease you because once you believed

and I was only just trying to please you

I never had the faith.

No, not like you.
In the end we’ll walk through

smoke and fire

and I’ll long for rain

I’ll give you the only thing I have left to give

But you’ll say my heart tastes cold 

like chameleon skin

And I’m proud

as a plucked

peacock

Pleased as a punch

In the gut.
In the end we lost our faith

It was beaten out of you

and bled out of me

in tiny droplets

and I’ll wish it were war paint

and I’ll wish it were wine

For the only real salvation I ever found

was when the world blurred

around your mouth.
In the end we’ll die in darkness

and I’ll dream of stars

and the fire in the blacks of your eyes

as you whisper softly

“I told you so…

na na na na na.”