divorce

Subway sandwich

She was different around him 

Maybe she was afraid too 

Maybe just afraid of losing her paycheck 

I don’t know 

But I don’t think she was fooled 

Just not brave 

He screamed he wasn’t angry 

He shook and screamed 

Oh no, he wasn’t angry

I was the crazy one 

I talked to her alone 

And his text demanded a subway sandwich

“Don’t you dare buy him a sandwich” 

He wasn’t around and she was suddenly brave. 

“Don’t you dare.”

I texted back. 

“What do you want on your sandwich?”

Self destruction 

Everything is ugly
You make me believe I’m the sick one
(Maybe I am)

You tell me how I feel

(Or don’t feel)

After all these years you don’t know me at all

(Or maybe I don’t know myself )

I feel that way sometimes

A stranger to myself 

The scorpion kisses me with it’s fire

I lose all my desire for anything

But self destruction 

I miss those days

Life is short

but this road ahead of me seems long

Outside the chaos never stops

like hale beating at an old chained up dog

I think I know more about hate now

than I do love

More about fear

than I do comfort

There were days when you would just stab your enemy in the neck

and be done with it. 

I miss those days. 

Who are you?

The one headlight is too bright

My head is in the dark clouds

I can roll the windows down

I can turn the radio up 

Wrap my nine inch nails around the wheel

Light a smoke

Choke

I can forget all about you 

My mind is in the silver clouds

The wind is in my hair

Who the fuck are you?

To bring me down

No where to run

The sky is electric

But there is no hope 

of rain

No relief from this heat

The moon is a wound in the sky

The man who lives there tells me

in cuts and scrapes and craters 

I do not matter

None of us matter

I drive the loneliest road

and take her curves too fast

I do not know what is my rush

My house is no longer a home

Her insides are silent 

and empty

her walls are full of fist sized holes

her waters breed mosquitoes 

and are the color of bile

I can no longer stand it here

but I have no where 

to run to. 

Untitled at the moment…

He tells me one more time

to come home

he has something to say

it’s important

I picture the way his fingers caressed the cold  metal

just last night

Don’t look at the guns, look me in the eye

I am sick, what do you still want from me?

I have nothing left to give

you. 

He tells me to sit down

this isn’t easy for him to say

It isn’t easy for me to listen to

I want to run away

I know what I must do.