dying

you were not you

You were not you

and I was afraid

I turned away to watch the captive fish float by

Did those long nights of breaking ice

and eating cheap brains

break you?

The cancer had a way of drawing my eye

how it wanted to bleed

But I knew you had found a place to hide

There was something comforting about it

There was something wrong about it all

like feeding pudding to a toothless lion

You were not you

but your watery eyes told a different story

I promise 

I won’t remember you this way

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Faith (in the end) 

In the end

we’ll lie beneath a cold black sun

my heart will ache for silver moonlight

and the sound of your laughter

I’ll tease you because once you believed

and I was only just trying to please you

I never had the faith.

No, not like you.
In the end we’ll walk through

smoke and fire

and I’ll long for rain

I’ll give you the only thing I have left to give

But you’ll say my heart tastes cold 

like chameleon skin

And I’m proud

as a plucked

peacock

Pleased as a punch

In the gut.
In the end we lost our faith

It was beaten out of you

and bled out of me

in tiny droplets

and I’ll wish it were war paint

and I’ll wish it were wine

For the only real salvation I ever found

was when the world blurred

around your mouth.
In the end we’ll die in darkness

and I’ll dream of stars

and the fire in the blacks of your eyes

as you whisper softly

“I told you so…

na na na na na.”