god

Mediocre sins

I was afraid. I was ruined. I was damned.

My only redemption was found in finding offense at a sexual joke

and keeping my legs forever crossed.

I was visited by shadows

but they melted away

Perhaps my sins were too mediocre

for the Devil to be bothered.

I belonged nowhere, to no one

and then you came. 

You say there are pieces of you still broken

Deep throating God

wasn’t all it was cracked up to be

Still I found beauty in your ugly

A sliver of peace inside your chaos

But you could never be a saint

You could never be a gentleman

Not in those boots. 

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Faith (in the end) 

In the end

we’ll lie beneath a cold black sun

my heart will ache for silver moonlight

and the sound of your laughter

I’ll tease you because once you believed

and I was only just trying to please you

I never had the faith.

No, not like you.
In the end we’ll walk through

smoke and fire

and I’ll long for rain

I’ll give you the only thing I have left to give

But you’ll say my heart tastes cold 

like chameleon skin

And I’m proud

as a plucked

peacock

Pleased as a punch

In the gut.
In the end we lost our faith

It was beaten out of you

and bled out of me

in tiny droplets

and I’ll wish it were war paint

and I’ll wish it were wine

For the only real salvation I ever found

was when the world blurred

around your mouth.
In the end we’ll die in darkness

and I’ll dream of stars

and the fire in the blacks of your eyes

as you whisper softly

“I told you so…

na na na na na.”

Devil’s Lake

My mother used to tell me

you knew God’s love in the beauty he makes

Then she told me in the Devil’s rage

he created a lake

Within this peace 

is this how we know

the Devil’s hate?

I used to look for him 

between the giant rocks

For I had so many questions

I hoped he would answer them

because God would not.