Mediocre sins

I was afraid. I was ruined. I was damned.

My only redemption was found in finding offense at a sexual joke

and keeping my legs forever crossed.

I was visited by shadows

but they melted away

Perhaps my sins were too mediocre

for the Devil to be bothered.

I belonged nowhere, to no one

and then you came. 

You say there are pieces of you still broken

Deep throating God

wasn’t all it was cracked up to be

Still I found beauty in your ugly

A sliver of peace inside your chaos

But you could never be a saint

You could never be a gentleman

Not in those boots. 

Love is a four letter word

Love is a four letter word

You don’t really believe that do you?

I smile and tuck away my sexual frustration

in my pockets, like a book of matches

I’ll light them all later

Or maybe not

There’s a banquet of mediocre lovers

just outside

I study them through my whiskey vision

wondering which one won’t call me the next day

that would be the lucky one

I strike a match

It bursts and fizzles and fades

Like my desire

I know who I am


(Zipper) May 18th Poetry challenge A-Z

A sweet whisper tickles the inside of my wretched

Brain, I am broken, bended, blended, send me a


Daydream, crack my breastbone open


Fragments of my heart, I know it

Gets you


It’s all a bad

Joke, I’ll be 

Kicking up dust, killing my

Lust for you, I write


Nonsense, in your

Opiate dream, just do it, take my

Pride for a ride, dump her off

Quietly in the desert

Rival my screams with


Tie my guts in knots, your passion is

Unrivaled, your rage lightly

Veiled by the violent

Weather, I like the 

X-rated thoughts within

Your head, and I’ll unzip your

Zipper, for you say its the fastest way to your heart

One more chance

The desert summer brought us ice storms

and I sat within the spark of your eye

and wrote poems from the fragrants of our letters

You remind me I had forgotten myself

within the madness of this world

For we could not be domesticated

Our hunger was never satisified

I remember myself within the howling winds of your storm

We really were great together once, weren’t we?

Before pride and doubt got the better of me

Don’t be a fool, he warns me

Be honest

Be real

For self sabotage is what I’m good at

And I have only one more chance to get this right.

Another Heartbreak

Ashes to ashes

We are all just dust

Ruled by a chemical brain storm

migrating lower

oh, lower

The synapsis in our heads

are snapping

our necks

to the side

as she walks by

We can be conquored by microscopic things

The synapsis in my brain

ignites and burns

My voice shakes

like an anxious 


I am falling

I think I’m headed for another


It isn’t true

I drink only to tame my labido

Oops that didn’t work 

quite the way I had intended

but this is how my night ended

how my life ended

I drank the ash, they brought me back

So I failed my religion

among a muriad other things

But I’ll drink from Jesus’ 

bloody cup

Knowing if I drink enough

salvation will spin into this room

a brittle, bitter, sweet relief will be coming soon

He says in my daze

all they want from me is a quick lay

but no one will ever love me

I stand up and shout

Fuck you, it isn’t true

fuck you, it isn’t true

fuck you, it isn’t true….

Is this Heaven?

Is this Heaven?

I do not know

in my youth I wished myself

nearly old

just to be near you. 

Who needs temples and white robes

and wine that drinks like blood?

I’ve got my god right here

at least he tells me so. 

I’m still thinking you missed out

and I think you know it now too

but like every other desire

this passes now too

You always said you were happy like that

rib cage spread open like a banquet

for carnivorous (((beautiful))) girls

and when you said you hated what they did to you

(and you killed them for it)

I knew it to be true.

Time flies and you despise me now


Or even worse

you forget I exisit

You appear to me only when it’s convenient

interruping my dreams

You’re a sexual Jesus (((genius)))

in blood spattered robes and flesh 

that tastes like bread

Tempt me like a god

searching for an unwitting sacrifice.

(Oh! Pick me! Pick me!)

Is this Heaven?

Unlikely so

For Hell seems rather close

when you tempt me so

But I don’t want to leave

as long as you promise to torture me

for all eternity. 

Who needs crucifixes and a crown of thrones?

Nails in our hands and feet, promises

of paradise and

“you’ll never again be alone.”

(Forgiveness is cheap

so let’s sin a little more)

I’ve got my beautiful devil right here

at least he tells me so. 

A collection of failures

The night was unforgiving

she told me not worry

not to give it a second thought

She bought the cheapest rum

and I told her she was the classiest white trash bitch

I’d ever partied with

She thought it was the sweetest thing

I wondered if I would ever grow up

So we ran down the aisles of the liquor store

looking for the dirtiest porn

Because I figured it was about time

I do adult things

At home I have a drawer full of diamond rings

I collect my failures like some people

collect coins

postage stamps

or notches on their belt

Its’ time for me to go home

They ask me to stay

but I am sick in my loneliness tonight

I want to be alone, so I can feel justified

It’s my choice

and there’s a cold satisfaction in my pain

I turn to leave and I can see

weird wide eyes through the glass

scratch her nails

down another mans back

I smirk as he attempts to defend his penis (not a chance)

 I have to remind myself

going home alone, 

It’s my choice.